Political humor

The Iranian government this week has demanded an apology from Hollywood saying the movies 300 and The Wrestler were insulting to Iranians. Well how about this, Iran: You apologize for the hostage crisis, pursuing nuclear weapons, high gas prices, financing Hamas, denying the Holocaust and setting fire to the Danish embassy because of a couple cartoons, and then you'll get an apology for The Wrestler." -- Seth Meyers

"The stock market apparently, cannot find a bottom. ... Auditors say we're probably going to lose General Motors, which is terrible news for the guy who was going to buy one of their cars." -- Bill Maher

"What I find so amusing about all of this is that Obama's been in office 45 days roughly, and the public is blaming this all on him. It's the Obama Recession, which is kind of true, because if McCain had won, Sarah Palin would still be buying clothes." -- Bill Maher

"No wonder Obama has gray hair. That was the big story in the paper yesterday, Obama has gray hair. Wow, now his hair isn't black enough." -- Bill Maher

"I have some exciting news, the Obama family is finally getting their dog! Yeah, they say they're getting a Portuguese Water Dog. And today, Rush Limbaugh said he hopes the dog fails!" -- Jay Leno 

"Hey, we wanna wish former First Lady Barbara Bush well. She's recovering in the hospital after heart surgery, while the rest of us are caught recovering from her son's presidency." -- Jay Leno

"It was on this day in 1923 that the first old-age pensions in America were created. It was based on the idea that as you work, you put a little money in investments so you'd have some saved up for when you retire. How dumb were those people? Could you imagine falling for that today?" -- Jay Leno

The economy is so bad O.J. had to shut down the DNA lab he was using to find the real killers. That's how bad." -- Jay Leno

"This weekend is Daylight Savings Time. ... You're going to lose an hour of sleep, and then I thought but what the hell, you've pretty much lost everything else. But not everyone sets their clocks ahead. Not everyone. No, no, no, no, no. On Wall Street, they've already set their clocks back to 1929." -- David Letterman

"So we lose an hour of sleep. You know that used to bother people, but after losing your house, your car, your 401(k), that's nothing. An hour of sleep? That's nothing." -- Jay Leno

Top news bloopers

The last one is hilarious

http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/04/the-15-best-news-bloopers_n_171905.html

Michael Steele on Rush Limbaugh

"Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. His whole thing is entertainment. Yes, it's incendiary. Yes, it's ugly." --RNC Chairman Michael Steele 

"I have enormous respect for Rush Limbaugh. I was maybe a little bit inarticulate. There was no attempt on my part to diminish his voice or his leadership." --Steele, two days later 

"I realized words that I said weren't what I was thinking. It was one of those things where I thinking I was saying one thing, and it came out differently." --Steele, in a further clarification

Jon Stewart on the Dow

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=220253&title=the-dow-knows-all

political cartoons

Jon Stewart: Obama floored

http://www.indecisionforever.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=218356

Re: Jon Stewart - hilarious

Saurabh you were bang on about him saying things in threes - here too he says Healthcare cannot wait, must not wait, and will not wait.

On Fri, Feb 27, 2009 at 11:00 AM, Kedar Desai wrote:

The part where he takes off on Easy America is hilarious

 

http://www.indecisionforever.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=219494

political humor

Yeah, he just this week signed a $787 billion stimulus bill, he proposed a $250 billion housing rescue package. He's been in office a month, and he's dropped a trillion dollars. Is that black enough for you?" --Bill Maher

"But what a task this guy has. He's got, on the one hand, to tell the people the truth. And on the other hand, try to lift our morale. Bill Clinton said today, you know, come on, lift morale, get out there and sell the hope thing, you know, that hope shit you've got. And both sides of the aisle are saying this. We have finally found something Democrats and Republicans agree that the president needs to do: lie." --Bill Maher

"And he does, because, I mean, some of our nations largest banks have been described this week as 'dead men walking.' The New York Times says they are insolvent, and here's the thing. Nobody will say the names of the banks, because you say the names, their stock will tank even worse. But here's a hint: one of them rhymes with 's**tty bank,' and the other rhymes with 'skank of America.'" --Bill Maher
 

These banks are hurting. I opened a new account, and the lady asked me for a toaster." --Bill Maher

"No, but it's hurting everyone all over. You heard about this, the Oscars are going to be a lot less gaudy this year. The Oscars, where I'm a presenter this year ... in the category I should have been nominated in. ... No, my money is on 'Slumdog Millionaire,' which is also what I call my broker" --Bill Maher

"The Oscars are kind of a special time in Hollywood. It's a time when celebrities take a break from worshipping Barack Obama and take some time to worship themselves."

Our Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is in China. While she was in China, she also managed to get a pirated copy of the movie 'The Watchmen,' which hasn't even come out yet.

Secretary of state Hillary Clinton was in Japan this week, where she had kind of an awkward moment. I guess she saw a couple of sumo wrestlers and said to the Japanese prime minister, 'Oh, you have interns here, too.'" --Jay Leno

"Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi met with the Pope this week. After the meeting, Pelosi asked for the Pope's blessing, and he agreed. But there was an embarrassing moment when the Pope asked her to close her eyes. Pelosi said, 'You know, I can't. They don't really close.' " --Jay Leno

 

 

Inspired by Slumdog Millionaire

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Anoop G. Bhat


Inspired by the success of Slumdog Millionaire at the Oscars, the producers have decided to release several versions tailored to specific audience needs. A sampler:

1.  Diet version: Slimdog Millionaire
2.  X-rated version: Slimdoggystyle Millionaire
3.  PETA version: Slumdogbreeding is evil Millionaire
4.  PC version: Dwelling for the Economically Marginalized Canine Person of Means
5.  Rapper version: Who you callin a slumdawg? Millionaire
6.  Obama version: We Can all be Slumdog Millionaires
7.  Sarah Palin version: I can see Slumdog Millionaire from my house
8.  John McCain: I spent 5 years in a slum in 'nam Millionaire

On a related note, the Society for Legalisation of Prostitution has formally adopted "Jai Ho" as its theme song...

political cartoons