political humor

A big question people are asking Hillary Clinton: what is she going to do next? Where will she go? Where will she end up? Is she going to retire? I'm sorry, that's what they keep asking me. I'm sorry, I forgot." --Jay Leno

"It looks like Hillary Clinton will concede tomorrow. And, again, I don't think President Bush is familiar with this term. Like he said today, 'How could she concede? She's 60. That's too old to have kids.'" --Jay Leno

"Well, the talk is that Hillary Clinton is going to try and help unite the party. She's going to unite the party. But today Bill Clinton says, according to his experience, the party is usually over whenever Hillary shows up." --Jay Leno
"Well, according to the Wall Street Journal, a lot of Republicans are very excited about the idea of Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal for McCain's running mate. Do you know about this guy? Interesting, interesting guy. He's a child of immigrants from India. His parents came from India, and he can bring youth to the ticket. And of course, McCain's excited because he wants to learn how to use email." --Jay Leno

"An article in USA Today reports that Barack Obama and John McCain have two very different visions of the world. That's what it said. Yeah. Biggest difference is that John McCain's vision makes it impossible for him to drive at night. He's got to go slowly." --Conan O'Brien

Meanwhile, after Hillary's meeting with Barack, Bill Clinton is now saying it's only fair he have a private meeting with Michelle Obama and Salma Hayek." --Jimmy Kimmel
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