political cartoons

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I think the market turmoil had nothing to do with the bailout vote having failed. Its just that today is a jewish holiday. Trust the jews to want 700 billion on their holiday.

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Tina Fey plays Palin again

 if you look at this Tina Fey plays Palin (another one, not the previous video) - you will see that Fey's dialogue is very similar to Palin's original. This video is not as funny as a spoof should be, but the humor is in the fact that it is so close to ther original!

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/couric-palin-open/704042/

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political humor

"Is the sky really falling, or are they just trying to convince us? You know, Bush went on TV -- he's always a guy who inspires confidence -- Wednesday night, and he said, quote, 'America could slip into a financial panic. The economy is in great danger.' And he held a flashlight under his chin." --Bill Maher

"President Bush spoke about the Wall Street bailout yesterday, and he said, this is the quote, 'if the money isn't loosened up, this sucker could go down.' So folks, if we know nothing else at this point, at least we know that President Bush is writing his own speeches." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, Congressman Tim Murphy of Pennsylvania voiced concern that the bailout plan doesn't protect the little guy. Yeah. After hearing, this, Dennis Kucinich said, 'I'll be fine.'" --Conan O'Brien

But the good news, the crime rate is down. Isn't that amazing? Less banks are being robbed. Well, sure. A, there's less banks. B, the banks don't have any money left. And C, nobody's got gas money for the getaway car. So, right there, crime is down!" --Jay Leno

"You know, the interesting thing is, these numbers are so big that people can't even comprehend them. Like $700 billion. See, the best way to understand large amounts of money is to think of it in terms of what it can buy. For example, you know what $700 billion buys? It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen." --Jay Leno

Tonight was the big debate between John McCain and Barack Obama. They billed it had as the crowd pleaser versus the old geezer. Kind of a tough one to do." --Jay Leno

A farmer in Ohio has carved a corn maze in his field in the likeness of Sarah Palin. The way it works? You you enter and suddenly realize you're way over your head." --Amy Poehler


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Shockin Palin

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/us_elections/article4837644.ece

McCain camp prays for Palin wedding

The marriage of the vice-presidential candidate’s pregnant teenage daughter could lift a flagging campaign

Sarah Baxter in Washington

div#related-article-links p a, div#related-article-links p a:visited { color:#06c; }

In an election campaign notable for its surprises, Sarah Palin, the Republican vice- presidential candidate, may be about to spring a new one — the wedding of her pregnant teenage daughter to her ice-hockey-playing fiancé before the November 4 election.

Inside John McCain’s campaign the expectation is growing that there will be a popularity boosting pre-election wedding in Alaska between Bristol Palin, 17, and Levi Johnston, 18, her schoolmate and father of her baby. “It would be fantastic,” said a McCain insider. “You would have every TV camera there. The entire country would be watching. It would shut down the race for a week.”

There is already some urgency to the wedding as Bristol, who is six months pregnant, may not want to walk down the aisle too close to her date of delivery. She turns 18 on October 18, a respectable age for a bride — and the same age as Barack Obama’s pregnant mother when she married his Kenyan father. The Democrat has already declared Bristol’s private life off-limits as far as his campaign is concerned.

The selection of Palin, 44, the moose-hunting governor of Alaska, as his running mate was one of McCain’s biggest gambles. It paid off handsomely at first, but she could benefit from a fresh injection of homespun authenticity, the hallmark of her style, provided by her daughter’s wedding after appearing out of depth away from her home state.

David Letterman, the late-night television chat show host, joked that Palin’s meetings with world leaders at the United Nations in New York looked like “take your daughter to work day”.

In a series of heavily criticised interviews with Katie Couric of CBS News, she fumbled her points about Alaska’s proximity to Russia and sounded like an over-crammed, under-informed student. Palin was stumped when Couric asked her to provide examples of McCain’s proposals for reforming the banking industry. “I’ll try to find some and I’ll bring them to you,” she said eventually. Republicans are quailing in advance of one of her biggest tests of the election, her televised debate with Joe Biden, the Democratic vice-presidential nominee, on Thursday in St Louis, Missouri.

The conservative commentator Kathleen Parker, an early admirer, shocked McCain supporters late last week by calling on Palin to withdraw. “My cringe reflex is exhausted,” she wrote in National Review Online, a conservative journal. “Palin’s recent interviews . . . all revealed an attractive, earnest, confident candidate. Who Is Clearly Out of Her League.”

Parker advised Palin to “save McCain, her party and the country she loves” by announcing that she wanted to spend more time with Trig, her five-month-old Down’s syndrome baby: “No one would criticise a mother who puts her family first.”

The Republicans’ Palin “bounce” ended last week as concern for the plunging economy mounted. Obama ended the week four points ahead of McCain on 48% to 44% in the RealClearPolitics poll of polls. A Rasmussen survey showed that McCain’s lead among white women voters slipped to two points, as opposed to 14 points for George W Bush in 2004.

However, Palin has a remarkable ability to galvanise the evangelical voters and social conservatives who form the Republican base. The party boasted last week that it will probably surpass its fundraising goal of $100m for September and October. Much of it is because of the grassroots enthusiasm for Palin, boosted by her decision to have Trig and to support her pregnant daughter.

McCain is expected to have a front-row seat at Bristol’s wedding and to benefit from the outpouring of goodwill that it could bring. “What’s the downside?” a source inside the McCain campaign said. “It would be wonderful. I don’t know that there has ever been a pre-election wedding before.”

When McCain picked Palin as his running mate, Bristol’s pregnancy was regarded as a potential liability with voters. The idea was to keep her condition quiet initially. However, rumours quickly surfaced that Trig was Bristol’s son. News that Bristol was pregnant, making it a near-biological impossibility for her to be Trig’s mother, had to be rushed out.

Johnston was greeted with a handshake and friendly slap on the back by McCain in St Paul, Minnesota, and treated as a member of the family during the Republican national convention when he appeared on stage after Palin’s speech.

The ice-hockey player wrote on his MySpace page he was a “f****** redneck” and stated, “I don’t want kids.” But a McCain insider predicted he would marry Bristol whenever his future mother-in-law wanted. “It’s a shotgun wedding. She kills things,” the source joked.

The McCain campaign is divided over how to handle Palin’s appearances, which have been so limited and over-rehearsed that last week Campbell Brown, a CNN anchor, accused it of sexism. “Stop treating Sarah Palin like she is a delicate flower who will wilt at any moment,” she said. “If she were a man, would we be putting up with this? . . . Would she be coddled this way, cloistered this way? I don’t think so.”

Inside McCain’s camp, aides are arguing over the benefits of “letting Sarah be Sarah”. Some officials believe her appeal to voters is such that it would be worth risking a few gaffes in exchange for letting her personality shine through.

The question will assume particular importance when she faces Biden, 65, in debate. The chairman of the Senate foreign relations committee has already come up with a multitude of gaffes, from asking a wheelchair-bound man to stand up at one of his rallies to admitting that Hillary Clinton “might have been a better pick” for vice-president, without any seeming ill-effect.

McCain officials believe that Palin’s underdog status gives her a chance to shine. “Joe Biden is going to have to destroy her for it to be perceived as a victory for him,” said an aide.

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McCain

At one point in the White House meeting, according to two officials, McCain voiced support for Ryan's criticisms of the administration's proposal. Frank, a gruff Massachusetts liberal, angrily demanded to know what plan McCain favored.

These officials also said that as tempers flared, Bush struggled at times to maintain control.

At one point, several minutes into the session, Obama said it was time to hear from McCain. According to a Republican who was there, "all he said was, 'I support the principles that House Republicans are fighting for.'"

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Hilarious: Palin's response to the Bailout

Palin's response to the Bailout ->
"That's why I say I, like every American I'm speaking with, we're ill about this position that we have been put in . . . where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh -- it's got to be all about job creation too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So healthcare reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, um, scary thing, but 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We've got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that."

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political humor

And she was at the General Assembly, Sarah Palin was, and somebody said, 'Look, over there, that's the president of Georgia.' And she said, 'Wow, Jimmy Carter?' And then she said, 'Boy, I hope I get to meet Queen Latifa.'" --David Letterman

"Do you even understand this Bush economic plan? Do you understand how it works? See, here's how it works. When you screw up, you pay. When they screw up, you pay! Yeah, actually very simple." --Jay Leno

"Some financial analysts are saying we're bailing out institutions with money we don't have, which makes the dollar even more worthless. In fact, today, God said, 'Could you take my name off the bill?" --Jay Leno

"And yesterday, the Iranian president, Mahmoud I'm-a-nut-job ... was at the U.N. And he blamed the United States for the collapse of the global markets. The Iranian president blamed the United States for the collapse of global markets. Well, that just goes to show you, in a crisis, you really find out who your friends are, huh? Yeah, I guess we can write that guy off." --Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin was in New York City this week. She met with some world leaders yesterday and went to the Central Park Zoo, yeah. Took her five hours to get through the zoo, 'cause she had to keep stopping to reload." --Jay Leno

"And all this week, the McCain campaign is trying to prevent Sarah Palin from talking to reporters covering the news, you know? They said, 'you can take her picture, but you can't ask her any questions.' What is she running for, vice president or 'America's Next Top Model'?" --Jay Leno

You can't suspend the democratic process because we're facing problems. At what point do you think, maybe we should suspend the election? We'll have the elections later. Some people have done that before: Castro did it, Napoleon did it, Julius Caesar did it. You can't do that. If you like it or not, the campaign is part of the democratic process ...You wanna take your time off, that's fine, but you don't say we're suspending the campaign. You can't say that. It's the democratic process. We didn't suspend it for 9/11, we didn't suspend it for Pearl Harbor, we didn't suspend it for the Nazis, we didn't suspend it for the damn British. We don't do that in America!" --Craig Ferguson

But you have to understand something. When you have 11 houses, you take a housing crisis very, very seriously. I believe him when he says this is a sincere effort, but some think it's a publicity stunt, because he announced it while hanging upside down from a crane in Central Park today." --Jimmy Kimmel



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quotes

Wine, women and song
“It was our bestselling wine.”

The owner of a wine bar in San Francisco complains about the drop in sales of Palin Syrah, a certified organic wine from Chile. SeriousEats.com, September 22nd

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Cold dead hands
“I guarantee you, Barack Obama ain’t taking my shotguns, so don’t buy that malarkey...I got two, if he tries to fool with my Beretta, he’s got a problem.”

Joe Biden reacts to anti-Obama National Rifle Association ads. FoxNews.com, September 20th

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Sore loser
“I bet he’d probably get pretty angry and lit up if his team was losing.”

Fifty per cent of voters would prefer to watch football with Mr Obama, 47% with Mr McCain; some feared the latter would be a bad loser. AP, September 19th

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Special ed
“It’s the public school system. Let’s be honest, it’s full of liberal loons.”

An 11-year-old was suspended for wearing an anti-Obama T-shirt. His father is suing. MyFoxColorado.com, September 22nd

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Boy crush
“I like the idea that this guy does those long-distance races. Stayed in the race for 500 miles with a broken arm. My kind of guy.”

Bill Clinton admires Sarah and particularly Todd Palin. AP, September 22nd

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Heh

House Republican Frank says McCain "Not Helpful" in Wall Street bailout Negotiation process

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