Saturday, 27 June 2009
from Facebook
Kedar Desai Says Bill Clinton took the Which Michael Jackson Song Are You Quiz with the result Billie Jean thats my girl George W. Bush took the Which Michael Jackson Song Are You Quiz with the result Beat It Dick Cheney took the Which Michael Jackson Song Are You Quiz with the result I am Bad Obama took the Which Michael Jackson Song Are You Quiz with the result Give in to me
6 hours ago · Comment · Like
Erik Chavez at 8:24pm June 27
Kedar Desai took the quiz and the result was Say Say Say. How apropo since he is always talking. :-)
Erik Chavez at 8:52pm June 27
A better result for 0bama would have been smooth criminal.
Thursday, 25 June 2009
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Fox
When does an embattled Republican suddenly become an embattled Democrat? When Fox News is covering him, of course.
The network known for its conservative leaning ran footage of Mark Sanford admitting to an extramarital affair on Wednesday with a Chyron identifying the South Carolina Republican -- near tears -- as a D, for Democrat
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
political humor
No, it's sad about Iran, but what do you expect about a country with a government that's propped up by oil, that's led by a religious wacko? Kind of like Alaska."
"The silver lining in this dark cloud is that Twitter found a reason to exist." --Bill Maher
"The silver lining in this dark cloud is that Twitter found a reason to exist." --Bill Maher
Have you been following the John Ensign scandal? He's the senator from Nevada who got his penis caught in the cookie jar. It turns out he was screwing the wife of his chief of staff, they say. And I love this guy. He's a piece of work. Because John Ensign was a promise keeper. He was a big proponent of the Defense of Marriage Act. And a loud voice calling for Clinton to resign during the Lewinsky scandal. So he has hit the hypocrisy trifecta." --Bill Maher
"He told the Washington Post some years ago, that as a Christian politician, listen to this, he refused to be alone with a strange woman inside of a car. But apparently, being inside of a strange woman without a car that's okay, that's all good." --Bill Maher
"They said his chief of staff, the guy who's wife he was screwing, he threatened to go public unless Ensign, the senator, paid his mortgage. Apparently this guy had a big-ass house in Las Vegas. I know the economy is tough, but using your wife as collateral on your mortgage? That's a new one, even for the Republicans. And how do you broach that? 'Look, senator, I'm upside-down on my mortgage, you've been upside down on my wife...'" --Bill Maher
"He told the Washington Post some years ago, that as a Christian politician, listen to this, he refused to be alone with a strange woman inside of a car. But apparently, being inside of a strange woman without a car that's okay, that's all good." --Bill Maher
"They said his chief of staff, the guy who's wife he was screwing, he threatened to go public unless Ensign, the senator, paid his mortgage. Apparently this guy had a big-ass house in Las Vegas. I know the economy is tough, but using your wife as collateral on your mortgage? That's a new one, even for the Republicans. And how do you broach that? 'Look, senator, I'm upside-down on my mortgage, you've been upside down on my wife...'" --Bill Maher
Some experts are saying the Iranian election was rigged because in some towns, voter turnout was more than 100%. What's even stranger, all those extra votes were from elderly Jewish people in Palm Beach, Florida." --Conan O'Brien
"According to a new report, Ford, General Motors and Chrysler have greatly reduced their number of customer complaints. The automakers did this by greatly reducing their number of customers." --Conan O'Brien
"According to a new report, Ford, General Motors and Chrysler have greatly reduced their number of customer complaints. The automakers did this by greatly reducing their number of customers." --Conan O'Brien
Today, President Obama signed a bill that prevents tobacco companies from using misleading labels like 'low tar' and 'light.' The tobacco companies said from now on they'll label their low tar cigarettes as 'less cancerific.'" --Conan O'Brien
"President Barack Obama's approval rating of 61%, which I thought was staggeringly high, has now dropped to 56%. So don't kid yourselves. Hillary could still win this thing." --David Letterman
"President Barack Obama's approval rating of 61%, which I thought was staggeringly high, has now dropped to 56%. So don't kid yourselves. Hillary could still win this thing." --David Letterman
Madoff
Madoff's lawyers says that Mr. Madoff is 71 years old and has an approximate life expectancy of 13 years. A prison term of 12 years--just short of an effective life sentence -- would allow him to celebrate his last birthday outside prison. I love the logic. 12 years is a life sentence since he will be dead in 13. Anyone you guys want to kill, do so when you are 83. You will be in and out within the year
Sunday, 21 June 2009
funny
Alan Greenspan looks at male underwear sales as an indicator of economic activity. Michael Brush reports
Greenspan reasons that because hardly anyone actually sees a guy's undies, they're the first thing men stop buying when the economy tightens.
Good title to the article - Search your underwear for signs of an economic recovery
some gem comments:
Fall of last year we may have seen signs of global finance 'skidding' to a halt...
The Economist gets right to the bottom of things. Cracked me up, but it may be an economic bum steer.
Fall of last year we may have seen signs of global finance 'skidding' to a halt...
The Economist gets right to the bottom of things. Cracked me up, but it may be an economic bum steer.
With economic analysis like this, is it really any wonder our economy is in such deep shit.
Saturday, 20 June 2009
Thursday, 18 June 2009
EMI
saw EMI on the plane, a reasonable funny hindi movie. It is a satire on how banks make crazy loans to customers - there are 1 day loans, 15 min loans, 5 min loans. Sanjay Dutt is the gangster in charge of recovery. got to see only half, will watch the rest on the way back, but made me laugh a lot (i found other sanjay dutt films like munnabhai pretty boring)
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
political humor
"Thank you very much. Welcome to the 'Late Show', ladies and gentlemen. Now, when I call your name, please come forward and pick up your apology." --David Letterman
"I want to get through this as quickly as possible so you folks can get to the 'Fire Dave' rally." --David Letterman
"It's nice that people hate me who are no longer just part of my immediate family." --David Letterman
"My son, you know, he's telling everybody at school that his father is Conan." --David Letterman
"I want to get through this as quickly as possible so you folks can get to the 'Fire Dave' rally." --David Letterman
"It's nice that people hate me who are no longer just part of my immediate family." --David Letterman
"My son, you know, he's telling everybody at school that his father is Conan." --David Letterman
"Senator John McCain announced today that he bought a hybrid car. Apparently, McCain thinks a hybrid car is one that has AM and FM radio." --Conan O'Brien
President Barack Obama has been on TV more than Regis lately. He was all over NBC the week before last. Next week, he's doing a two-hour, primetime town hall here on ABC. But if we didn't want our President on TV all the time, maybe we shouldn't have elected Oprah's boyfriend." --Jimmy Kimmel
This is a crazy story. Fidel Castro, the former Cuban dictator, has a son named Antonio. That's not the crazy part. The crazy part — for eight months, Antonio Castro carried on an online affair with what he thought was a beautiful Colombian woman. That woman turned out to be a man, a Cuban activist who lives in Miami. It's especially fun because the Internet is difficult to access in Cuba. To get online in Cuba, you know, you have to give — I think you have to give five fish to a guy who has ColecoVision hooked up to a 1958 Impala." --Jimmy Kimmel
political humor
But I hope they get this figured out. I hope it goes away soon, because the last thing we need is unrest in the Middle East." --David Letterman
"But the guy, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, he's very happy that he won. He was up all night shooting nuclear missiles into the air." --David Letterman
"And then, after the elections, the supreme leader in Iran certified the election results and shipped the crooked voting machines back to Florida." --David Letterman
"But the guy, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, he's very happy that he won. He was up all night shooting nuclear missiles into the air." --David Letterman
"And then, after the elections, the supreme leader in Iran certified the election results and shipped the crooked voting machines back to Florida." --David Letterman
"Because earlier, in the Iranian elections, it was a tie. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the other guy were tied, and now, couple a days later, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wins by a landslide. I don't know. People are very upset. I mean, they sparked violent protests, calls for investigation, there is national outrage. Uh, wait a minute, that's me." --David Letterman
In a major speech Sunday, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called for the Palestinians to get their own state. Unfortunately, the state he offered them is New Jersey." --Conan O'Brien
"It's been reported Marvel Comics is getting set to bring back Captain America. They're going to do this as soon as they get a loan from Captain China." --Conan O'Brien
"It's been reported Marvel Comics is getting set to bring back Captain America. They're going to do this as soon as they get a loan from Captain China." --Conan O'Brien
Monday, 15 June 2009
political humor
"It's a little different over there when they have an election in Iran, because the women, they get to vote over there. Unlike our ally Saudi Arabia. But in Iran, the women get to vote and it's great, because they're already wearing the booth." --Bill Maher
"They released this week four prisoners who were previously held in Guantanamo Bay, and they've been cleared of their charges. And listen to this: they're resettling them in Bermuda and giving them each $100,000. In a related story, the entire population of Detroit said today they are part of al Qaeda." --Bill Maher
This is crazy. You probably saw this. Former President George Bush Sr. celebrated his 85th birthday today by skydiving with CNN anchor Robin Meade. Fox News reported the story as, 'Liberal media pushes old man out of airplane.'" --Conan O'Brien
Scary stuff
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Friday, 12 June 2009
good one
A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that Jesus sitting over there?'
The waitress nodded 'yes,' so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with scoliosis. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that Jesus over there?'
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, 'My treat.'
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, 'Hey there, honey! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Miller Light?' He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that God's boy over t here?'
The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer... 'On my bill,' he said.
Jesus got up to leave, passed by the Republican, touched him and said, 'For your kindness, you are healed.' The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, 'For your kindness, you are healed.'
The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.
Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat.
The Democrat jumped up and yelled, 'Don't touch me... I'm collecting disability!'
--
Harshad
The waitress nodded 'yes,' so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with scoliosis. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that Jesus over there?'
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, 'My treat.'
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, 'Hey there, honey! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Miller Light?' He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that God's boy over t here?'
The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer... 'On my bill,' he said.
Jesus got up to leave, passed by the Republican, touched him and said, 'For your kindness, you are healed.' The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, 'For your kindness, you are healed.'
The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.
Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat.
The Democrat jumped up and yelled, 'Don't touch me... I'm collecting disability!'
--
Harshad
--
Kedar Desai
+44 (0) 789 420 1415
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
political humor
Obama's speech was produced right here in the U.S.A and the rest of the world is buying it, which is more than I can say for General Motors." --Bill Maher
"President Obama gave the speech at Egypt's Cairo University. The crowd at Cairo University loved Obama's speech, especially the joke he made about their rival, Cairo State. It's a safety school." --Conan O'Brien
"On this day in 1925, the Chrysler Corporation was founded and had it lived, it would be 84 years old today. Founded in 1925 and lucky for you stock is still available at 1925 prices." --David Letterman
Monday, 8 June 2009
Saturday, 6 June 2009
political humor
"Tuesday, NBC's news special, 'Inside the Obama White House,' was watched by 9 million people. Historians say it was the most revealing look behind the scenes at the White House since Bill Clinton set up a secret webcam." --Conan O'Brien
"Yesterday president Barack Obama met the king of Saudi Arabia, who kissed Obama twice. Obama says he hasn't gotten this kind of treatment since he met Keith Olbermann." --Conan O'Brien
The IRS says that John Kerry's 2004 presidential campaign owes over $800,000 in back taxes. I guess that explains the long face." --Jimmy Fallon
Friday, 5 June 2009
Thursday, 4 June 2009
political humor
You know about that North Korean madman dictator Kim Jong Il. Well, there's word he may be letting go and stepping down. And apparently to get the guy to relinquish power, in order to get him to step down and leave his office, they offered him the 10:00 spot. I just heard that. And they think he could be replaced by his son, Kim Jong 'W' Il." --David Letterman
"There is a big announcement in North Korea. Kim Jong Il has named his son as his future successor. A president's son becoming president? That would never happen here." --Craig Ferguson
"There is a big announcement in North Korea. Kim Jong Il has named his son as his future successor. A president's son becoming president? That would never happen here." --Craig Ferguson
If you heard the news today, you know that the state of California is officially out of money. We have no money — one day without Leno, everything goes to hell around here." --Jimmy Kimmel
General Motors, bankrupt. Biggest corporation in the world and now they still want money. They still want billions more bailout money. I think I speak for all Americans when I say, 'You want more money? Wait here while I talk to the manager. I'll be right back." --David Letterman
goolsbee defends obama
Austin Goolsbee, Obama's financial adviser, defends Obama's economic policies:
Look, we enter the government essentially in a hotel that is on fire. We're throwing people from the windows into the pool to save their lives and this is the evaluation of the Olympic diving committee: Well, the splash was too big.
Interesting
For most women on this list.
The comments are very interesting too
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
political humor
"Please, I'll correct this for everybody. The correct pronunciation is Sota-Mayor. Unless you're a Republican, and then I believe it's pronounced 'Sodomizer.'" --Jon Stewart
"But you know, people get upset about everything. People are already screaming. They say: 'You know what that little date that the President and his wife went on in New York City, you know what that cost people? Twenty four thousand dollars. It lasted four hours and it cost $24,000.' And former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer said, 'That's about right.'" --David Letterman
"Dick Cheney said today, he supports gay marriage. I think he only supports gay marriage because he sees marriage as a form of torture, but anyway, he supports it." --Craig Ferguson
"But you know, people get upset about everything. People are already screaming. They say: 'You know what that little date that the President and his wife went on in New York City, you know what that cost people? Twenty four thousand dollars. It lasted four hours and it cost $24,000.' And former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer said, 'That's about right.'" --David Letterman
"Dick Cheney said today, he supports gay marriage. I think he only supports gay marriage because he sees marriage as a form of torture, but anyway, he supports it." --Craig Ferguson
Hey, tonight, former presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton held a debate in Toronto. I wish I had one more day." --Jay Leno
"Tonight was the last 'Tonight Show' hosted by Jay Leno. Out of respect to Jay, I'd like to do the first joke he told on May 25th, 1992, when he took over the 'Tonight Show. He said, 'This, of course, is the 'Tonight Show,' the one TV program Dan Quayle hates even more than 'Murphy Brown.' That joke is about as topical today as it was back when he told it." --Jimmy Fallon
"Tonight was the last 'Tonight Show' hosted by Jay Leno. Out of respect to Jay, I'd like to do the first joke he told on May 25th, 1992, when he took over the 'Tonight Show. He said, 'This, of course, is the 'Tonight Show,' the one TV program Dan Quayle hates even more than 'Murphy Brown.' That joke is about as topical today as it was back when he told it." --Jimmy Fallon
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