political humor

But I hope they get this figured out. I hope it goes away soon, because the last thing we need is unrest in the Middle East." --David Letterman

"But the guy, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, he's very happy that he won. He was up all night shooting nuclear missiles into the air." --David Letterman

"And then, after the elections, the supreme leader in Iran certified the election results and shipped the crooked voting machines back to Florida." --David Letterman

"Because earlier, in the Iranian elections, it was a tie. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the other guy were tied, and now, couple a days later, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wins by a landslide. I don't know. People are very upset. I mean, they sparked violent protests, calls for investigation, there is national outrage. Uh, wait a minute, that's me." --David Letterman

In a major speech Sunday, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called for the Palestinians to get their own state. Unfortunately, the state he offered them is New Jersey." --Conan O'Brien

"It's been reported Marvel Comics is getting set to bring back Captain America. They're going to do this as soon as they get a loan from Captain China." --Conan O'Brien