political humor Dec 24 - 26

"I tell you, the economy's rough. People are standing behind President
Bush<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/georgewbush/tp/george-bush-jokes.htm>just
to get the free shoes." --Jay Leno

*"*You folks around the country probably know this, but here in New York
City it's freezing cold. It's so cold today that that Bernie Madoff is
actually looking forward to burning in hell." --David Letterman

"It's so cold today President
Bush<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/georgewbush/tp/george-bush-jokes.htm>was
ducking ski boots." --David Letterman

Ford Motors, by God, Ford Motors is working on a brand new car called the
Fusion. It's a hybrid and runs on a combination of gas and bailout money -
David Letterman
"Barack Obama<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/barackobama/tp/barack-obama-jokes.htm>is
on vacation in Hawaii right now. And today many newspapers carried
pictures of a shirtless Obama playing in the ocean. Did you see that? Yeah.
So as you're thinking of things to be thankful for this holiday, remember,
that could have been a shirtless John
McCain<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/johnmccain/tp/john-mccain-jokes.htm>."
--Conan O'Brien

"The White House staff has been briefing Barack Obama's team on a series of
worst-case scenarios that could face the country after President Bush leaves
office. That's the latest. Yeah. Apparently, the absolute worst case
scenario is that
Bush<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/georgewbush/tp/george-bush-jokes.htm>doesn't
leave office." --Conan O'Brien

"What a rough crowd last night. Rough, they were surly. They were quiet. I'm
telling you. It was quiet in here. It was like a Lehman Brothers Christmas
party.
The suburbs are cold also. Up in Chappaqua,
Bill<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/funnypictures/ig/Funny-Clinton-Pic...>and
Hillary<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/hillaryclinton/tp/hillary-clinton-...>accidentally
got into the same bed. It's that cold." --David Letterman

"The shoe-tossing guy
<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/georgewbush/a/bush-shoe-jokes.htm>in
Iraq, you know, he wrote a letter to President Bush and he apologized. He
said, 'Dear president Bush, I'm sorry I threw a shoe at you.' And I was
thinking, wait a minute. When is President Bush going to apologize for
invading Iraq?" --David Letterman

"It was so cold in Alaska, somebody is putting chapstick on a pig." --Jay
Leno

"President-elect Barack Obama and his family are in Hawaii this week. To
which President Bush said, 'You know, I prefer spending my Christmases right
here in the United States.'" --Jay Leno

"Governor Arnold
Schwarzenegger<http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blpic-arnoldgovernator...>said
in an interview on '60 Minutes' on Sunday that, if the Constitution
allowed it, he would like to run for president. Yeah. Yeah. There's a
switch, a Republican being stopped by the Constitution, when does that ever
happen?" --Jay Leno

"The largest donor at the Clinton library turns out to be Saudi Arabia.
Yeah. Well, some critics argue that such close financial ties to the Mideast
could be a conflict of interest. However, Hillary Clinton says she will not
advocate Arab policies. Except, you know, the practice of stoning
adulterers." --Jay Leno

"NBC is showing, once again, the classic movie 'It's a Wonderful Life.' See,
it is so different today. See, when they made that movie, back then the
government actually asked banks to account for what money was missing."
--Jay Leno