political humor

We are very excited to have the President of the United States, Barack Obama here. A lot of people were surprised that the President came to N.B.C. You'd think by this time he'd be tired of big companies on the brink of disaster with a bunch of overpaid executives." --Jay Leno 

"We were also going to have Vice President Joe Biden come out and say a few words, but, you know, it's only an hour show." --Jay Leno

"People think it's amazing that the President would take the time to leave Washington, DC, and fly 3,000 miles to come to California. But that happens to a lot of guys when their mother-in-law moves in with them." --Jay Leno

"And earlier today, the President held a town meeting, and Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was there. And I thought it was great to see the President reaching out to California's non English-speaking community." --Jay Leno

"Did you see President Obama standing next to Governor Schwarzenegger? Didn't the President look like the head of a company who's introducing its latest cyborg model to the world?" --Jay Leno

"I tell you, the economy is in bad shape. The economy is so bad, President Obama flew out here on Southwest." --Jay Leno

"Former President George W. Bush just signed a $7 million book deal, though, reportedly, he thought it was to read one." --Jimmy Fallon

"I heard this today, a new audiotape from Osama bin Laden was released. On the tape, he says he doesn't care what anyone says, he's not giving back his bonus money." --Jimmy Fallon

"A new comic book about Michelle Obama's life will be released this April. In the comic book, the First Lady battles her archenemy, sleeves." --Jimmy Fallon