Political humor

"Here's some good news. Bernard Madoff, the sleaze-ball guy in that $50 billion Ponzi scheme thing, is going to plead guilty. But Madoff's lawyer is trying to get all the charges dropped by arguing that Madoff is no longer a threat to society because there aren't any rich people anymore." --Jay Leno

"And there was a big rally on Wall Street yesterday after Citigroup reported a profit for the first two months of the year. That just goes to show you what determination, hard work, and 45 billion of our bailout dollars can do." --Jay Leno

"Here's a sign of the times are a-changin. The governor of Virginia has signed a new law banning smoking in bars and restaurants. In Virginia. See, that's significant because Virginia is, like, the tobacco state. That would be like the governor of California banning breast implants." --Jay Leno