political humor

Texas Governor Rick Perry said the state of Texas could secede from the Union if it wanted to. Is that what we need, another foreign country on our southern border speaking a language we don't understand? Come on!" --Jay Leno

"Former President Bush wasted no time responding to this. He said, 'Wow, does that mean I get to be president again?'" --Jay Leno

"President Obama is visiting Mexico this week, where he's talking to President Calderon about poverty, drugs and violence. When he's done with that, he plans on talking about the problems in Mexico, too." --Jay Leno

"Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says the United States is now ready to talk to Cuba. You know what that means? Apparently, we are already interviewing replacements for Texas." --Jay Leno

A 13-year-old boy in Peoria, Illinois, has been arrested and accused of robbing a bank. Well, the kid is obviously young and naive. He still thinks banks have money. You know how he got caught? ... He was Twittering 'I'm currently robbing a bank.'" --Jay Leno