Superb rant by Olbermann to slam healthcare, govt corporations - must listen

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/03/olbermann-slams-members-o_n_250580.html

Ayn Rand

One friend kept quoting Ayn Rand in defence of the free markets. Another told him to stop reading Ayn Rand and start reading robin Hood

quote

"The Obama administration is considering replacing the color-coded terror alert system. Yeah. They're not sure what they're going to replace it. But anything where you spend ten minutes at the airport going, 'Wait. Is the orange bad or is the orange good?' 'Well oranges are good.' 'I don't like oranges.' 'What do you mean you don't like oranges?' 'I don't like them. I never liked them.' 'You don't like clementines?' 'What are clementines?' 'They're like tangerines or something.' 'No, tangerines are tangerines. What is a clementine?' 'I don't know, oh wait we missed our flight.' Terrorists! Terrorists, they do this to us." --Jimmy Fallon

Goldman

i am not a fan of Taibbi's work of fiction on Goldman, but this article makes a lot of sense

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/07/15/tavakoli.goldman.earnings/

Re: Bam checking out bum

 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/10/the-day-in-funny-fabulous_n_229359.html?slidenumber=1#slide_image

 

 

On Fri, Jul 10, 2009 at 10:22 PM, Kedar Desai <kedar.desai@gmail.com> wrote:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/07102009/news/nationalnews/tail_to_the_chief_178552.htm

Actually, O might be innocent - this video implicates Sarkozy

--
Kedar Desai
+44 (0) 789 420 1415

Begging the question

http://topics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/25/begging-the-question-again/

Re: Bam checking out bum

http://www.nypost.com/seven/07102009/news/nationalnews/tail_to_the_chief_178552.htm

Actually, O might be innocent - this video implicates Sarkozy

Bam checking out bum

http://www.bild.de/BILD/news/bild-english/world-news/2009/07/10/barack-obama-nicolas-sarkozy/oh-la-la-us-president-checks-out-bum-of-g8-delegate.html

fun watch

http://dailybail.com/home/trust-me-and-watch-this-clip-as-luck-would-have-it.html

The bank robbery is hilarious

political cartoons

India's gay ruling

Rutwik wrote:

NYTimes reader on Delhi high court ruling--"My first thought was that we would now see a rush to production of films featuring gay Bollywood dance numbers - until I realized that they'd look exactly the same as they do now."

Good oped

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/02/opinion/02kristof.html

barney Frank quote

These arguments from the people who denied that the economic recovery plan created any jobs.We have a very odd economic philosophy in Washington called weaponized Keynesianism.It is the view that government does not create jobs when it funds the building of bridges or important research or retrains workers, but when it builds airplanes that are never going to be used in combat,that is economic salvation

from Facebook

Kedar Desai Says Bill Clinton took the Which Michael Jackson Song Are You Quiz with the result Billie Jean thats my girl George W. Bush took the Which Michael Jackson Song Are You Quiz with the result Beat It Dick Cheney took the Which Michael Jackson Song Are You Quiz with the result I am Bad Obama took the Which Michael Jackson Song Are You Quiz with the result Give in to me

6 hours ago · Comment · Like

 Erik Chavez at 8:24pm June 27

Kedar Desai took the quiz and the result was Say Say Say. How apropo since he is always talking. :-)

 Erik Chavez at 8:52pm June 27

A better result for 0bama would have been smooth criminal.

political cartoons

Fox

When does an embattled Republican suddenly become an embattled Democrat? When Fox News is covering him, of course.

The network known for its conservative leaning ran footage of Mark Sanford admitting to an extramarital affair on Wednesday with a Chyron identifying the South Carolina Republican -- near tears -- as a D, for Democrat

political humor

No, it's sad about Iran, but what do you expect about a country with a government that's propped up by oil, that's led by a religious wacko? Kind of like Alaska."

"The silver lining in this dark cloud is that Twitter found a reason to exist." --Bill Maher

Have you been following the John Ensign scandal? He's the senator from Nevada who got his penis caught in the cookie jar. It turns out he was screwing the wife of his chief of staff, they say. And I love this guy. He's a piece of work. Because John Ensign was a promise keeper. He was a big proponent of the Defense of Marriage Act. And a loud voice calling for Clinton to resign during the Lewinsky scandal. So he has hit the hypocrisy trifecta." --Bill Maher

"He told the Washington Post some years ago, that as a Christian politician, listen to this, he refused to be alone with a strange woman inside of a car. But apparently, being inside of a strange woman without a car that's okay, that's all good." --Bill Maher

"They said his chief of staff, the guy who's wife he was screwing, he threatened to go public unless Ensign, the senator, paid his mortgage. Apparently this guy had a big-ass house in Las Vegas. I know the economy is tough, but using your wife as collateral on your mortgage? That's a new one, even for the Republicans. And how do you broach that? 'Look, senator, I'm upside-down on my mortgage, you've been upside down on my wife...'" --Bill Maher

Some experts are saying the Iranian election was rigged because in some towns, voter turnout was more than 100%. What's even stranger, all those extra votes were from elderly Jewish people in Palm Beach, Florida." --Conan O'Brien

"According to a new report, Ford, General Motors and Chrysler have greatly reduced their number of customer complaints. The automakers did this by greatly reducing their number of customers." --Conan O'Brien

Today, President Obama signed a bill that prevents tobacco companies from using misleading labels like 'low tar' and 'light.' The tobacco companies said from now on they'll label their low tar cigarettes as 'less cancerific.'" --Conan O'Brien

"President Barack Obama's approval rating of 61%, which I thought was staggeringly high, has now dropped to 56%. So don't kid yourselves. Hillary could still win this thing." --David Letterman

Madoff

Madoff's lawyers says that Mr. Madoff is 71 years old and has an approximate life expectancy of 13 years. A prison term of 12 years--just short of an effective life sentence -- would allow him to celebrate his last birthday outside prison. I love the logic. 12 years is a life sentence since he will be dead in 13. Anyone you guys want to kill, do so when you are 83. You will be in and out within the year

funny

Alan Greenspan looks at male underwear sales as an indicator of economic activity. Michael Brush reports

Greenspan reasons that because hardly anyone actually sees a guy's undies, they're the first thing men stop buying when the economy tightens.

Good title to the article - Search your underwear for signs of an economic recovery

http://www.economist.com/blogs/freeexchange/2009/05/searching_underpants_for_green.cfm

some gem comments:

Fall of last year we may have seen signs of global finance 'skidding' to a halt...

The Economist gets right to the bottom of things. Cracked me up, but it may be an economic bum steer.

With economic analysis like this, is it really any wonder our economy is in such deep shit.

hilarious: Barack Obama as superman

http://sendables.jibjab.com/originals/hes_barack_obama

political cartoons

shocking

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/19/justice-department-worrie_n_218015.html

Twitter users heckle republican

http://politicalhumor.about.com/b/2009/06/18/twitter-users-mercilessly-heckle-rep-pete-hoekstra.htm

EMI

saw EMI on the plane, a reasonable funny hindi movie. It is a satire on how banks make crazy loans to customers - there are 1 day loans, 15 min loans, 5 min loans. Sanjay Dutt is the gangster in charge of recovery. got to see only half, will watch the rest on the way back, but made me laugh a lot (i found other sanjay dutt films like munnabhai pretty boring)

political humor

"Thank you very much. Welcome to the 'Late Show', ladies and gentlemen. Now, when I call your name, please come forward and pick up your apology." --David Letterman

"I want to get through this as quickly as possible so you folks can get to the 'Fire Dave' rally." --David Letterman

"It's nice that people hate me who are no longer just part of my immediate family." --David Letterman

"My son, you know, he's telling everybody at school that his father is Conan." --David Letterman

 

"Senator John McCain announced today that he bought a hybrid car. Apparently, McCain thinks a hybrid car is one that has AM and FM radio." --Conan O'Brien

President Barack Obama has been on TV more than Regis lately. He was all over NBC the week before last. Next week, he's doing a two-hour, primetime town hall here on ABC. But if we didn't want our President on TV all the time, maybe we shouldn't have elected Oprah's boyfriend." --Jimmy Kimmel

This is a crazy story. Fidel Castro, the former Cuban dictator, has a son named Antonio. That's not the crazy part. The crazy part — for eight months, Antonio Castro carried on an online affair with what he thought was a beautiful Colombian woman. That woman turned out to be a man, a Cuban activist who lives in Miami. It's especially fun because the Internet is difficult to access in Cuba. To get online in Cuba, you know, you have to give — I think you have to give five fish to a guy who has ColecoVision hooked up to a 1958 Impala." --Jimmy Kimmel

 

 

Jon Stewart hilarious

http://www.indecisionforever.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=230673

political humor

But I hope they get this figured out. I hope it goes away soon, because the last thing we need is unrest in the Middle East." --David Letterman

"But the guy, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, he's very happy that he won. He was up all night shooting nuclear missiles into the air." --David Letterman

"And then, after the elections, the supreme leader in Iran certified the election results and shipped the crooked voting machines back to Florida." --David Letterman

"Because earlier, in the Iranian elections, it was a tie. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the other guy were tied, and now, couple a days later, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wins by a landslide. I don't know. People are very upset. I mean, they sparked violent protests, calls for investigation, there is national outrage. Uh, wait a minute, that's me." --David Letterman

In a major speech Sunday, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called for the Palestinians to get their own state. Unfortunately, the state he offered them is New Jersey." --Conan O'Brien

"It's been reported Marvel Comics is getting set to bring back Captain America. They're going to do this as soon as they get a loan from Captain China." --Conan O'Brien

 

political humor

"It's a little different over there when they have an election in Iran, because the women, they get to vote over there. Unlike our ally Saudi Arabia. But in Iran, the women get to vote and it's great, because they're already wearing the booth." --Bill Maher

"They released this week four prisoners who were previously held in Guantanamo Bay, and they've been cleared of their charges. And listen to this: they're resettling them in Bermuda and giving them each $100,000. In a related story, the entire population of Detroit said today they are part of al Qaeda." --Bill Maher

This is crazy. You probably saw this. Former President George Bush Sr. celebrated his 85th birthday today by skydiving with CNN anchor Robin Meade. Fox News reported the story as, 'Liberal media pushes old man out of airplane.'" --Conan O'Brien 

Scary stuff

On how hate is increasing in america

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/14/opinion/14rich.html?em

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/12/opinion/12krugman.html

Should drugs be legalized

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/14/opinion/14kristof.html

jon stewart

http://www.indecisionforever.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=230088

good one

A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.  The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that Jesus sitting over there?' 
The waitress nodded 'yes,' so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him. 
 
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with scoliosis. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea.  He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that Jesus over there?' 
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, 'My treat.' 
 
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, 'Hey there, honey! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Miller Light?' He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that God's boy over t here?' 
The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer... 'On my bill,' he said. 
 
Jesus got up to leave, passed by the Republican, touched him and said, 'For your kindness, you are healed.'  The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door. 
 
Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, 'For your kindness, you are healed.' 
The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door. 
 
Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat. 
 
The Democrat jumped up and yelled, 'Don't touch me... I'm collecting disability!'

--
Harshad

--
Kedar Desai
+44 (0) 789 420 1415

AIG chief destroyed

http://dailybail.com/home/bailout-aig-bonus-congressional-videos-its-not-easy-being-ed.html

political humor

Obama's speech was produced right here in the U.S.A and the rest of the world is buying it, which is more than I can say for General Motors." --Bill Maher

"President Obama gave the speech at Egypt's Cairo University. The crowd at Cairo University loved Obama's speech, especially the joke he made about their rival, Cairo State. It's a safety school." --Conan O'Brien

"On this day in 1925, the Chrysler Corporation was founded and had it lived, it would be 84 years old today. Founded in 1925 and lucky for you stock is still available at 1925 prices." --David Letterman

political cartoons

 

political humor

"Tuesday, NBC's news special, 'Inside the Obama White House,' was watched by 9 million people. Historians say it was the most revealing look behind the scenes at the White House since Bill Clinton set up a secret webcam." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday president Barack Obama met the king of Saudi Arabia, who kissed Obama twice. Obama says he hasn't gotten this kind of treatment since he met Keith Olbermann." --Conan O'Brien

The IRS says that John Kerry's 2004 presidential campaign owes over $800,000 in back taxes. I guess that explains the long face." --Jimmy Fallon

Jon Stewart on GM

http://www.indecisionforever.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=228973

political humor

You know about that North Korean madman dictator Kim Jong Il. Well, there's word he may be letting go and stepping down. And apparently to get the guy to relinquish power, in order to get him to step down and leave his office, they offered him the 10:00 spot. I just heard that. And they think he could be replaced by his son, Kim Jong 'W' Il." --David Letterman

"There is a big announcement in North Korea. Kim Jong Il has named his son as his future successor. A president's son becoming president? That would never happen here." --Craig Ferguson

If you heard the news today, you know that the state of California is officially out of money. We have no money — one day without Leno, everything goes to hell around here." --Jimmy Kimmel

 

General Motors, bankrupt. Biggest corporation in the world and now they still want money. They still want billions more bailout money. I think I speak for all Americans when I say, 'You want more money? Wait here while I talk to the manager. I'll be right back." --David Letterman

 

goolsbee defends obama

Austin Goolsbee, Obama's financial adviser, defends Obama's economic policies:

 

Look, we enter the government essentially in a hotel that is on fire. We're throwing people from the windows into the pool to save their lives and this is the evaluation of the Olympic diving committee: Well, the splash was too big.

Interesting

For most women on this list.

The comments are very interesting too

 

http://www.economist.com/blogs/freeexchange/2009/06/are_the_plus_size_more_sensiti.cfm#list-comments

political humor

"Please, I'll correct this for everybody. The correct pronunciation is Sota-Mayor. Unless you're a Republican, and then I believe it's pronounced 'Sodomizer.'" --Jon Stewart

"But you know, people get upset about everything. People are already screaming. They say: 'You know what that little date that the President and his wife went on in New York City, you know what that cost people? Twenty four thousand dollars. It lasted four hours and it cost $24,000.' And former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer said, 'That's about right.'" --David Letterman

"Dick Cheney said today, he supports gay marriage. I think he only supports gay marriage because he sees marriage as a form of torture, but anyway, he supports it." --Craig Ferguson

Hey, tonight, former presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton held a debate in Toronto. I wish I had one more day." --Jay Leno

"Tonight was the last 'Tonight Show' hosted by Jay Leno. Out of respect to Jay, I'd like to do the first joke he told on May 25th, 1992, when he took over the 'Tonight Show. He said, 'This, of course, is the 'Tonight Show,' the one TV program Dan Quayle hates even more than 'Murphy Brown.' That joke is about as topical today as it was back when he told it." --Jimmy Fallon

 

Republican Senators

Senator Tom Coburn:

In a tape recently released by Brad Carson, Coburn's Democratic opponent for the Senate race there, Coburn is heard warning the good clean citizens of Oklahoma of the great lesbian threat to their state.

On the tape, Coburn tells how a campaign worker form Coalgate, Okla., told him that lesbianism is "so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go to the bathroom."

Senator James Inhofe:

Why did the UN cook up the idea of global warming? To "shut down the machine called America." In fact, we learned, global warming is a plot to destroy the US economy and to initiate one-world government–a goal not only of the UN but of the American political left more broadly. Establishing his Christian credentials, Inhofe invoked Romans 1:25 (For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever) to suggest that taking steps to ameliorate global warming would constitute a form of idol worship.

healthcare quote

take ownership. do your own colonoscopy

Jon Stewart interviews Newt Gingrich

http://www.indecisionforever.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=228277

Colbert takes off on India

http://www.indecisionforever.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=228363

average

political humor

"President Barack Obama's in Los Angeles tonight for a huge fundraiser at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. Actually, one awkward moment -- as Obama was entering the Beverly Hilton, he bumped into John Edwards, who was sneaking out." --Jay Leno

"People in Beverly Hills had a lot of questions for the President about health care. They wanted to make sure that tummy tucks and Brazilian butt lifts were covered under Medicare." --Jay Leno

"I read in the -- this seems a little scary -- in the paper today, President Obama had less than a one-hour warning of North Korea's nuclear tests. Yeah. Well, that's not bad when you realize he has absolutely no warning when Joe Biden's going to go off." --Jay Leno

"Even with the recession, the price of gas continues to go up. And some economists say that's because speculators think the economy will turn around soon, and when things are good, gas prices are high. But you know, when things are bad, gas prices are high. I'm not an economist, but here's a wild thought. Maybe the oil companies are just trying to screw us." --Jay Leno

"President Barack Obama's in Las Vegas. So, if things go well at the table, General Motors just might make it." --Jimmy Fallon

On his radio show yesterday, Rush Limbaugh called supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor a 'reverse racist.' I got to hand it to Limbaugh. That guy is a reverse genius." --Jimmy Fallon

Excellent op-ed

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/28/opinion/28kristof.html?_r=1

political humor

"There are some people who are saying that maybe Dick Cheney is setting himself up to actually run for president. You know, it makes sense. Republicans are looking for fresh blood, and Cheney just had some yesterday." --Bill Maher

"The other day George Bush gave a speech at a graduating high school class. He wondered why they didn't give him an honorary degree, but that's another story. It's interesting, he said he finds not being president liberating. Agreed." --Bill Maher

"He told the kids it's interesting the way life turns out, and now he finds himself walking the dog and picking up poop. Finally, something he can actually find. He couldn't findOsama, he couldn't find the weapons of mass destruction. If only we'd be attacked by dog s**t, we'd be OK." –Bill Maher

"Oh, poor George Bush, picking up after some unthinking creature's mess. Well, now he knows how Obama feels." --Bill Maher

"Nobody knows debt like California. We had a special election, and they rejected all the proposals Gov. Schwarzenegger suggested to save the state from going under. Very bad day for him. He said he has not been this humiliated since the '80s when he took an acting class." --Bill Maher

"We're $26 billion in the hole. I don't want to say it's bad, but today Mexico announced they're building a border fence." --Bill Maher

"There was sort of an unprecedented event this week when Obama was on television giving his version of national security, and then moments later Dick Cheney was on. It was all about Obama vs. Cheney: yes we can vs. go f**k yourself , biracial vs. bicentennial; walks with a spring, craps in a bag." --Bill Maher

"Before she left for China, reporters repeatedly questioned House Speaker Nancy Pelosiabout her claim the CIA lied to her. But Pelosi remained tight-lipped. She also remainedtight-foreheaded and tight-eyelided." --Jay Leno

"In fact, before she left, Pelosi told the press she's not going to have any further comments on this whole controversy about the CIA She says no more talking. She's not going to say another word. Why can't we get this deal for Joe Biden?" --Jay Leno

"North Korea tested a nuclear bomb today. I don't want to say this is a big deal, but it actually knocked 'Jon & Kate Plus 8' right off the front page." --Jay Leno

After a report that he called for shutting down Facebook in his country, the president of Iran, Mahmoud I'manutjob -- is that how you say his name? Ahmadinejad. He's now denying he ordered a ban on Facebook. He said, no, he did not. You know? That shows you the real power in the world is these days. Here's a guy calling for the destruction of Israel, openly supports terrorism, denied the Holocaust, and then he's accused of shutting down Facebook. 'Nuh-uh! No way, not me.'" --Jay Leno

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is in Shanghai to debate climate change with Chinese government officials. I think she'll do fine because these negotiations always come down to whoever blinks first." --Jimmy Fallon

Krugman op-ed

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/25/opinion/25krugman.html

political humor

Today, President Obama and former Vice President Dick Cheney gave speeches on torture. Now, is it me or have we seen more of Dick Cheney in the last week than we did in the past eight years? Anyway, the President spoke out against torture, while Cheney's speech was more of a how-to discussion." --Jay Leno

"Yesterday, during a speech, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said the CIA misleads us all the time. You know, unlike Congress." --Jay Leno

"Hey, did you know we had another earthquake the other night? You know, California is the only state where you don't know what is going to bounce first, the ground from the earthquake or your check from the state government." --Jay Leno

"I tell you, the economy's in bad shape. Oh, the economy's hurting; economy is so bad, Joe Biden was outside the White House, selling maps to politicians' secret locations." --Jay Leno

"Economy's so bad, I saw an illegal immigrant deport himself. That's how bad it's gotten." --Jay Leno

"Well, here is a shocking statistic. This is shocking. One in four Americans admit to texting while driving. The other three are illegal immigrants who are texting while driving." --Jay Leno

"According to a new poll, Dick Cheney's approval rating is up eight points since leaving office. Wow, I can't believe Cheney's approval rating is eight percent. That's amazing." --Jimmy Fallon

"Michelle Obama's on the cover of Time magazine this week. She says she has dinner with Barack and the kids every night, and then -- oh, it's so cute -- Joe Biden jumps up and tries to lick the plates." --Jimmy Fallon

political humor

"I had the most frustrating night the other night. I watched the season finale of '24' with Nancy Pelosi. You know, she couldn't remember the first 23 hours. Didn't remember any of the torture -- none of it!" --Jay Leno

"Hey, President Obama has found a way to quickly close Guantanamo Bay. He's going to turn it into a Pontiac dealership." --Jay Leno

"And the price of gas, that keeps going up. I'll tell you how bad it is. Today, I saw Dick Cheney driving a Prius." --Jay Leno

"The economy is so bad, Bill Maher is going to church just for the free bread and wine." --Jay Leno

"And according to a Massachusetts educational official, 73 percent of the people who take the state elementary school teacher licensing test fail the math part. In my home state, Massachusetts, 73 percent of teachers taking the math test fail. That's almost half." --Jay Leno

"And according to a Rasmussen poll, when asked if English should be America's official language, 85 percent of the people said, 'Si.'" --Jay Leno

political humor

Michelle Obama went to the ballet here in New York last night. I heard she saw Hillary Clinton's favorite ballet, 'The Nutcracker.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Hey, there was a private screening of 'Star Trek' at the White House over the weekend. And President Obama said he really liked the film. The best thing about private screenings, because we get to do them -- it's not like seeing it with the public, you know, where there might be some moron talking through the whole movie. In fact, that's why they didn't tell Joe Biden." --Jay Leno

"Hey, speaking of movies, Matt Damon has a new Jason Bourne film coming out. I guess he's a CIA agent who tells Nancy Pelosi about waterboarding. Yeah, but see, in this one, she's the one that gets amnesia. That's the twist." --Jay Leno

"I love this, the Federal government now bailing out insurance companies. Billions of our dollars are going to some of the nation's top insurance companies to keep them from collapsing. Wow, too bad they didn't have insurance!" --Jay Leno

"The economy is bad. Dick Cheney was hanging people by their ankles just to catch the change that fell out of their pockets. That's how bad." --Jay Leno

"Well, last week, the FDA scolded General Mills for claiming that Cheerios lowers your cholesterol by 10%. Well, they're not stopping there. Today, under pressure, Captain Crunch admitted he lied about his military record." --Jay Leno

shocking and funny

http://dailybail.com/home/there-are-no-words-to-describe-the-following-part-ii.html

political humor

"The former Vice President Dick Cheney is in town, ladies and gentlemen, in New York City. He's here to see all of his favorite shows: 'Phantom', 'Wicked', 'Stomp.'" --David Letterman

"Here's something that I am very excited about. Joe Biden, the current vice president, was yakking away over the weekend. And he -- remember when Dick Cheney was in an undisclosed location and everybody thought: Where? So supposedly top secret information, classified information. And Joe Biden just says, 'No, I know where he was. He was hiding under his house. Joe Biden is living proof that people can give up sensitive information without being tortured.'" --David Letterman

This is part of our new plan. It's called 'Don't Ask, We'll Tell.'" --Jay Leno

Los Angeles will start a water rationing in June, which means Dick Cheney will only be allowed to waterboard guys two days a week now." --Jay Leno

And a Chicago company is now marketing hair products inspired by that idiot Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. This is real. This is the new product right here. It's called Head & Swindler. Can you read the back? It says, 'lather, rinse, impeach.' It's all right here." --Jay Leno

"Nancy Pelosi now saying the CIA misled her. Misled. Doesn't that sound like the name of some beauty contestant in China? 'Please welcome Mis Led, ladies and gentlemen.' 

"No, actually, Nancy Pelosi said she heard stories of inmates being injected with a deadly toxin that paralyzes the nerves in your face. No, that's her Botox. I'm sorry. You know, I'm so confused." --Jay Leno

"General Motors announced they're closing over a thousand dealerships. A lot of people are blaming GM's new CEO, some guy named Barack Obama." --Jay Leno

"Well, as you know, President Obama spoke at a couple colleges this week. He told the graduates at Arizona State they should not lead their lives like Bernard Madoff. Well, sure, if you're going to steal money and stay out of jail, become an executive at AIG That's how you do it." --Jay Leno

"And at his commencement speech at Notre Dame, President Obama said we should be doing everything we can to prevent unplanned pregnancies, to which John Edwards said, 'Tell me about it.'" --Jay Leno

"Well, this is surprising. A new survey shows that the happiest Americans are elderly, male, and Republican. In other words, Republican." --Jimmy Fallon

cartoon

http://artofsatire.economist.com/cover-1-zoom.php

Conservatism is devoid of intellect

Richard Posner, Prof. at Univ of Chicago, ex-conservative Supremem Court Judge, appointed by reagan to the courts, says conservatism is now devoid of intellect

http://crookedtimber.org/2009/05/12/richard-posner-on-the-conservative-intellectual-collapse/

Krugman's comment on that

http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/05/19/prodigal-intellectuals/

Political Humor

And a New York City auction house is having something unusual. It's selling a large variety of torture devices dating from the 16th century. A bunch of torture devices. Said the whole thing looks like a Dick Cheney garage sale." --Jay Leno

"At the White House the other night, President Obama and First Lady Michelle hosted a night of poetry and music, featuring musicians, authors and poets. So maybe that's a sign the economy is starting to turn around, huh? When poets start working again? When poets get a job? That's a good sign." --Jay Leno

"And yesterday at the White House, First Lady Michelle Obama said that the White House is a place where people should feel free to speak their mind. Except, of course, Joe Biden.'" --Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney went to see the Tom Hanks film 'Angels and Demons,' and through the whole movie he's screaming, 'Go Demons! Go Demons.'" --David Letterman

"Dick Cheney says that Rush Limbaugh is more of a Republican than Colin Powell. And I think, well, yeah, about 300 pounds more.'" --David Letterman

"This Sunday, President Obama is receiving an honorary degree from the University of Notre Dame. Or as Obama calls it, safety school." --Jimmy Fallon

"This is a big controversy, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said the CIA lied to her in 2003. Yeah, apparently, they sent her a document saying that her makeup looked subtle. They lied to her." --Jimmy Fallon

Last Supper

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/051909dnmetcheesus.1564ea4d.html

political cartoons

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Kedar Desai
+44 (0) 789 420 1415

political humor

"Last night, President Obama hosted a poetry slam at the White House. A poetry slam is when poets stand up and read poems. They try and outdo each other. And things can get out of control. Apparently, last night, one person got up on stage and rambled on and on and didn't make any sense. And then, when Joe Biden was done, they started the poetry." --Craig Ferguson

"It's groundbreaking to have a poetry slam. It's never happened before. I think Dick Cheney once held a torture slam. 'There was a young man from Nantucket. I put his head in a bucket.'" --Craig Ferguson

"What a good crowd, boy! It's obvious you folks don't have money in the stock market. Oh, a horrible day today. Man, stocks were falling like Miss California's top." --Jay Leno

"Saudi Arabia held its first beauty pageant over the weekend. And already they're embroiled in their own scandal. Seems topless photos of the newly crowned Miss Saudi Arabia surfaced today. You could see her entire forehead." --Jay Leno

"Governor Schwarzenegger says he is trying to get marijuana legalized here in the California. He wants to legalize it. Yeah. Yeah. I believe his campaign slogan is 'Change We Can Breathe In.'" --Jay Leno

"I'll tell you how bad the economy is — today I saw a Republican driving a Prius." --Jay Leno

"Yesterday, the New York State Assembly overwhelmingly passed a bill approving same-sex marriage. And now the bill goes to the State Senate, where it will likely face a closer vote. In other words, the bill could go both ways." --Jimmy Fallon

Sarah Palin has got a deal to write her memoir. Got a deal to write her memoir, yup. I believe it's titled, 'The Book to Nowhere.'" --David Letterman 

Re: Nice headline

On Thu, May 14, 2009 at 11:10 AM, Anoop Bhat <noopster@gmail.com> wrote:

I thought they meant Osama.

On Thu, May 14, 2009 at 5:42 PM, Kedar Desai <kedar.desai@gmail.com> wrote:

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE5444XQ20090505

Now there will be no more deaths in Afghanistan

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http://groups.google.com/group/polhmr
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Kedar Desai
+44 (0) 789 420 1415