political humor

"I had the most frustrating night the other night. I watched the season finale of '24' with Nancy Pelosi. You know, she couldn't remember the first 23 hours. Didn't remember any of the torture -- none of it!" --Jay Leno

"Hey, President Obama has found a way to quickly close Guantanamo Bay. He's going to turn it into a Pontiac dealership." --Jay Leno

"And the price of gas, that keeps going up. I'll tell you how bad it is. Today, I saw Dick Cheney driving a Prius." --Jay Leno

"The economy is so bad, Bill Maher is going to church just for the free bread and wine." --Jay Leno

"And according to a Massachusetts educational official, 73 percent of the people who take the state elementary school teacher licensing test fail the math part. In my home state, Massachusetts, 73 percent of teachers taking the math test fail. That's almost half." --Jay Leno

"And according to a Rasmussen poll, when asked if English should be America's official language, 85 percent of the people said, 'Si.'" --Jay Leno