political humor

"President Obama spoke on the phone this weekend for 20 minutes with Mexican President Calderon on how to cooperate on fighting this swine flu thing. Afterwards, he said the people of America and Mexico have found common ground. I believe it's called Los Angeles." --Jay Leno

And health officials have confirmed the first case of the virus being transmitted from a person to a pig. A farmer has transmitted the virus back to a pig. Scientists say they have not been able to come up with a good explanation on how this happened and neither has the farmer." --Jay Leno

"The White House announced today that Vice President Joe Biden has laryngitis. Yeah. They said that he has a rare strain they hope lasts until 2012." --Jay Leno

And Obama, so far, nobody can lay a glove on this guy because he's working so hard and doing a great job. But recently, he accidentally referred to Cinco de Mayo as Cinco de Cuatro. He apologized and said he only knows about 15 words of Spanish. Big deal.George W. Bush only knew about 15 words of English." --David Letterman

"President Obama may choose a Supreme Court nominee by the end of the week. That's fast. Nothing against the President, but doesn't it worry you that it took him 10 times longer to decide on a dog?" --Craig Ferguson

"Are you aware of the fact that President Obama's mother-in-law is living in the White House? And the woman has really taken to it. She says she loves living in the White House. But there was some trouble today when she took Air Force One on another flight over New York." --David Letterman

"In fact, just a day after saying he wouldn't go anywhere in confined places like an aircraft or a subway because of the swine flu, Vice President Biden rode a train from Washington to Delaware. You know what that means? Not even Joe Biden listens to Joe Biden." --Jay Leno

"The number two movie in the country is the romantic comedy, 'The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past,' or as John Edwards calls it, 'a horror film.'" --Jay Leno