political humor

"Well, here's the latest. The White House says, as of now, it is not contained. It could continue to get worse. And they were just talking about Joe Biden." --Jay Leno

"As you know, Vice President Biden got in a little bit of trouble yesterday when he suggested that people should avoid commercial flights and subways if they want to stay healthy. Yeah. Today, President Obama recommended that Biden avoid microphones and TV cameras for the very same reason." --Jay Leno

"Well, there are now cases of swine flu in the United States, Canada and Mexico. So, see that? NAFTA does work." --Jay Leno

"I think a lot of people are really overreacting to this whole swine flu thing. Don't you? Come on. Like today at Disney World, they quarantined Sneezy. There was no cause for that." --Jay Leno

"Cheney, he overreacted, too. Today, he waterboarded a pig. There's no reason for that. No reason." --Jay Leno

A vacancy on the Supreme Court. This is something we haven't seen in awhile. Let's just hope the president is better at picking a justice than the justices were at picking a president." --Jay Leno

"President Obama said this week he is worried that the country is losing its love of learning. You may have heard him say this. He said we need to show as much attention to science award winners as we do basketball players. Now, didn't he just install a basketball court in the White House? I guess the West Wing science lab is next on the list." --Jay Leno

"Finally, some good economic news. They're hiring at the Supreme Court. - Bill maher

"The Republicans say that Obama's pick for a replacement is completely unacceptable, and they will let us know why as soon as they find out who it is." --Bill Maher